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Dana's Mindful Minute: Happy "NO"vember

Inspiration for this week: "NO"vember


This week's inspiration is a funny meme that couldn't have captured that holiday spirit any better. It's NO-vember, say no to everything!!! 

Just kidding...but...

Theme of the Week- No is a full sentence

Ahhh, the holidays are coming up and that brings family! Lots of cooks in the kitchen, literally and figuratively, which means a lot of potential for "drama." It's a typical pattern in my business that clients will take off for the holidays and then come back with quite colorful stories. Aunt Karen asked for the millionth time why you don't have a boyfriend yet, someone brought up the dreaded political discussion that no one dared get into, your brother's girlfriend had to upstage you with the dessert. Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful, but it can also be a time where there is a lot of tension and resentment. 

It's also the time that everyone has something going on and I find people stretching themselves way too thin. We say yes to everything and find ourselves cursing out Sally while we're making midnight cupcakes for her friendsgiving that we really don't have time for. We need to learn that it is OK to say NO. And also say no without excuses, explanation, or a story. "No Sally, I cannot come to your friendsgiving this time." 

So what happens when we say yes too often? We feel burned out and exhausted. And we can feel resentful towards others when it is our own exhaustion or lack of energy that is the problem. Or we are not as present at the obligation which means we may not do our best work or be the most attentive friend/partner/etc. This can have a negative impact on our relationships.

What happens when we say no? The world blows up...haha nope, but that's what your anxiety tells you right? Instead, when we start to say no to things, we get a chance to take a break and recharge. We find energy reserves from spreading ourselves too thin and can repurpose it into selected relationships and activities and give them our all. So, in turn, our friends and colleagues that we thought would hate us or abandon us if we said no, actually see more value in the time that we have given them and start to respect us more.

Challenge this week: Say no to an unwanted activity

Think about your activities coming up over the holidays. Are you overloaded? Then you need to shed some weight. What is one activity this week/month that usually leaves you feeling drained, or you know is going to put you over the edge with other necessary activities? When you figure it out, call that person and cancel. Or don't offer your services to start. When you say no to something, notice how your energy shifts and you are more present for desired activities or at the very least not feeling so burnt out!

dana renee counseling
(407) 476-9666
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