Inspiration for this week: Brene Brown on Joy

Brene Brown and Oprah on Joy

This week I heard a lot of comments stating, "everything is going well, but...". In this 5 minute video, Brene Brown describes Joy as the most terrifying feeling that people experience. She explains that while it may seem surprising her answer of Joy as the most terrifying feeling, it is because people do not allow themselves to soften into the moment, they must guard against the dreaded feeling that they are going to lose the joy at any moment. We are all waiting for the other shoe to drop...so what does that do for us?

Theme of the Week- Soften Into Joy

As Brene Brown states, you're standing over your precious child thinking, "wow I hold so much love for you like no one ever before you". You are filled with joy and there's a warmth inside you and then BAM! That terrifying movie scene plays in your head of your child not waking up in the morning, or something tragic happening to them, and you have started going down the rabbit hole of the intense loss and heartbreak you'll feel. But you're child is right there, sleeping safe and sound. Yet you could only hold onto that moment of joy for only a fleeting second before all of the fears and doubts came flooding in. Why do we do that to ourselves? It's okay, we all do it. But let's get better at stopping that cycle.

Brene Brown states that "we are trying to dress rehearse tragedy so we can beat vulnerability to the punch". Ohhh, yes! So true! It's that pessimist motto, "i won't get too excited for this because then if it doesn't happen, I won't be upset, and if it does, it'll be pleasant surprise." Here's the problem with that, it doesn't work. If the tragedy comes true, we're no more prepared for it to happen. But what does happen is we get robbed of the joy of the moment instead. She goes on further to share a story of a man who touted that same pessimist motto, but when his wife died, he wished he appreciated those joyful moments more. She studies people who have experienced great loss and when she asks what they missed the most, they tell her "I miss the texts from my mom all messed up because she didn't know how to text", "the screen door slamming from the kids playing outside", "reading the newspaper with my husband in the mornings." So while we are trying so hard to shield from tragedy ahead or way too focused about what is next, we're missing these ordinary moments that may just be the best moments of our life!

Challenge This Week- Practice Gratitude by Highlighting a Joyful Ordinary Moment

On Brene Brown's podcast she asks rapid fire questions to her guests at the end, one of them being "what is an ordinary moment in your life that you cherish?" So let's try that. Try noticing that ordinary moment in every day that you would cherish forever if you didn't have it any more. Is it watching your child sleep? Morning coffee with your partner? Your pet disregarding your boundaries with cuddles? A pretty sky? Practice taking a breath when you notice those moments and smiling and stating to yourself, "i'm grateful for this moment."