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DANA'S MINDFUL MINUTE: YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND

Inspiration This Week: Stubbornness

You have poured time, energy, and resources into your current commitment. Whether that's a relationship, a career path, lifestyle, parenting etc. And now you think that you might want something different. 

Instead of just jumping into the new opportunity, we're hesitant. We don't trust our instincts and doubt if we're making the right decision. Most importantly we fear that if we let go of an ideal, we may be seen as a failure, wasting our time and energy, inadequate, flighty, or stupid.


Theme This Week: Letting Go of Fear and Moving to Action

We all can fall into this trap because of our fear of loss and change. Our brains are actually wired to avoid pain over maximizing pleasure; we put more emphasis on avoiding loss than chasing a gain. Let's put this into perspective:

You spend $60 for you and a friend to go see a movie. 5 minutes into the movie you recognize it sucks, but you stay until the end anyways. Why? Because you invested that $60 and don't want it to go to waste. The reality is whether you stay for the movie or leave, the money is gone either way. 

We also attach value to bigger commitments such as our career, lifestyle, and relationships. I was dead set on being a veterinarian throughout high school and college. So when I found my calling in my first psychology course sophomore year, that was not exciting so much as it was terrifying. Instead of focusing on the positive energy focused towards figuring out my calling, I dreaded the shame associated with me choosing to change my Biology major. Switching to psychology meant I failed at being a good biology major, it meant telling people I was wrong about my future, it meant saying I wasted two years taking the wrong courses. So my energy was devoted to managing those fears and defending my value.


Challenge This Week: Give Yourself Permission to Change Your Mind

So give yourself permission to change your mind. That thing that you've been pushing, clinging to, or forcing...choose to acknowledge and accept its due date. Are you staying in a job that has you burnt out? Has your relationship run its course? Are you starting to want kids after years of saying no? Ask yourself if you are clinging to an ideal or commitment only for the sake of the investment you put into it and not wanting to waste it. Give yourself time to process the loss and sit with the difficult feelings of letting go of this concept. And then give yourself permission to stop avoiding and walk down the path of something new, exciting, and fulfilling. It may have been a difficult conversation with myself all those years ago, letting go of this idea of being a vet, but I can tell you I have never regretted that decision for a second and am truly so grateful for the ability to do the work I do today :).

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dana renee counseling
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